5 things NOT TO DO on a first date: words of advice for the average heterosexual man

Image taken from: https://coffeemeetsbagel.com/blog/index.php/best-date-tips/4-major-mistakes-keep-going-past-first-date/ which also has some good tips!!

  1. Walk and/or catch a ride to the meeting place and ask your date to drive.
    • This looks so tacky and it makes you seem like you don’t have any of your shit together. If you really had to get a ride there or walk, don’t admit it. Figure out a different way home.
  2. Take her somewhere too pricey or beyond your
    • If you take her to that really expensive restaurant, will she be impressed, yes. What happens when the date doesn’t work out? You’re out a lot of money. What happens if the date does work out? You resent her a little because you can’t pay your rent this month and end up picking a stupid argument over nothing and invite her to McDonalds the next three dates.
    • Just be yourself. Don’t pick something too pricey. Which leads me to:
      • Don’t ask her to split the check with you.
        • I don’t care if it’s a “new age” where women are equals and blah blah blah. Argue with me later. Just expect to pay. If she offers that’s fine. Do not ask.
  3. Pick an activity that involves an excessive amount of noise (e.g. concerts)
    • First dates are for deciding if you like someone enough to see them again. There is no way to know this if you can’t hear a word they say.
  4. GET DRUNK
    • Do not get drunk on a first date. Just don’t do it. It makes a terrible impression. Unless you’re both heavy drinkers in which case, I guess you can bond over it.
  5. Over-commit
    • Don’t make a plan to do 4 things with her over the course of 6 hours. Plan for one good thing and if that thing goes well play the rest by ear. If you tell her that she is going to be there from 6 pm to 2 am and she’s decided she doesn’t like you at 9:30 pm, it’ll be miserable for both of you.

 

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Ode to Scarlett

Beauty beyond belief

A body with curves paved with blood sweat and tears

Piercing emerald eyes and hair made from shades of soft golden brown

No one could touch her and no one could love her although many tried

Cloaked in burgundy cloth, she wandered the world waiting for a suitor whose love she could reciprocate

but alas there were none.

One day she passed a mirror.

She saw her reflection and realized her beauty had begun to fade and she no longer knew what she had to offer

for her heart was closed, patience thin and tongue sharp.

Unconditional love requires more than a pretty face

for when the lights go down we all look the same.

Dear Scarlett, let love into your soul and let go of the superficial excuses before your soul becomes too far tucked away to be found and caressed by those that truly want to witness and appreciate its beauty.

See the world for what it truly is. Treat it with equanimity.
It’s better to be ignored and happy than marveled at and miserable.